I have lived for the most part, with a heart that aches for adventure, change and opportunity, but a head that wants safety, protection and predictability.

There is a part of me that relishes creating discomfort and the opportunity to grow, while another part hates how bloody crazy it also makes me feel.

I want to live a life that follows the beat of my heart yet sometimes I don’t even know what that is!! Sometimes there is such a cluster f*# of noise it’s hard to decipher truth from fear!

Does this sound familiar? The push and pull of following what feels right for you but fighting against the outside noise of what is expected of you? The ongoing drone of what seems normal for others yet seems claustrophobic for you. The squeeze of deeply desiring a way of being, the need to follow that which tugs your heart and yet the incessant strain of fear exudes its force. 

Yet,  this is the process. This was always the process. It always WILL be the process. If you choose to walk a different path, if you choose to step away from familiarity, you have to prepare for growing pains… it kinda comes with the territory.

Growing pains usually manifest in the form of core woundings. An inner belief embedded long ago. If you hold still long enough, you will be shown the pattern. The cycle you have manifested becomes clearer. Your growth point appears repeatedly. Each time I choose to betray my ability to trust, when I lean too far into predictable security, I manifest a reminder too.

I learned a looong time ago it was not safe to shine. A core wounding that continues to appear. Every time I am on the cusp of creating that which I deeply desired, each time I breathe in pure joy for what is to come and the massive action it required, the cycle repeats. It is not safe to shine, SO stay small, stay safe, stay the same.

But here’s the thing… this process has called me to a much deeper understanding of who I am. There are things I never could have known without the cycle, without repeating the pattern, without the discomfort. I would never have chosen to ground into my truth, my belief of self and I would never have had the courage to reject the projection from others.

Because sometimes there is undeniable evidence of things we don’t want to know. Sometimes we are forced to look at ourselves in a way we never would have. Sometimes we see things in others too, that was not always visible. This is the process of growing pains, being willing to go into the shadows while maintaining a point of love and compassion for oneself, one another and the situation as a whole.

Here’s my guide to managing the reminders many of us hate to have.

  • Allow the situation to be a moment of quiet reflection. Retreat, reflect then re-emerge. Without shutting out the noise of the ego, the truth can be hard to hear.


  • Accept what is yours. Regardless of how uncomfortable it is to admit, we all play a part in situations that trigger us. Allow yourself the honesty of knowing where you fit in the equation.


  • Detach from what is not yours. Regardless of how strong your patterned behavior is, how ingrained certain beliefs are, take the time to feel into the elements of the situation that are not yours. The best way to become stronger in your own truth is to recognise what isn’t it.


  • Celebrate!! Most people I work with (and a belief I use to have) was that ‘if we do enough work’ we won’t experience growing pains. This often detracts from our ability to see how far we’ve actually come. Things will always challenge us… growth is about how quick we rebound. How quick can you accept your part, detach and keep moving forward?


  • Gratitude!! Honestly, when you can see how different experiences support your journey gratitude comes naturally. Everything has the ability to shape us, shift us or strengthen us.


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