Heartbreak has been my greatest teacher. Lonliness my greatest distraction. Energy placed in all the wrong places. Affirmation sort from all the wrong faces. From widowhood to rejection, this shattered heart became a cesspit of delusion and denial. That my ‘enoughness’ was measured by the external gratification before realising that my truth was in my internal confirmation.
And so, here it is, my 6 most powerful lessons from heartbreak and the feeling of ‘not enoughness’.
- You can’t avoid pain by trying to fill the void. Distraction is ever-present in our society. People constantly filling the void with the wrong things, the wrong people, the wrong story. You can fill the void with ANYTHING that allows you to distract yourself from truly feeling and healing your deepest wounds; what you can’t do, however, is avoid the unresolved pain!! It still exists inside of you and will revisit at the most inopotune time.
- It is no-ones job to save you. Your pain is YOUR pain. Your healing is YOUR healing. Allowing someone to be the perfect distraction is ussually the easiest (and often unknown) solution. The issue being that you enter into the same cycle where at some stage your inner fears will be reaffirmed. Distraction is a bandaid that only eases the inner turmoil for a short period of time.
- It’s not up to someone else to see your value, it’s up to you. Needing someone to love you so you can feel enough, worthy or loveable is the easiest way to hand over every ounce of your goodness to someone else. When you see your value, you refuse to allow anyone in who sees less. You dictate the tone of your relationships by deciding what you are willing to accept within it.
- Your happiness is your responsibility. There is not a person out there who is more responsible for your happiness than you. When you accept this as truth, you create moments and experiences that attract amazing amounts of abundance and joy. This feeling is a natural attractor to others and it allows the freedom of the right people to enter.
- You are never too damaged for the right person regardless of how brittle and damaged you feel. When you can recognise the parts of you that need healing or accepting, you are less likely to attract someone who feels the need to remind you of it. The person with the heart and soul to see beneath your pain and into your heart can therfore appear.
- LOVE and HAPPINESS are always available but they must be first found within. Regardless of how much you want to repel this reality, love and happiness IS an inside job. Regardless of the pain or wounds you carry, if you are committed to creating love and happiness in your life you must ALWAYS start with yourself.
SO, how can you step towards more love and acceptance of who you are?